February 7, 2014Neal (The Wine Wankers)

Don’t be a wine wanker!

a wine wanker at workOur regular readers would have cottoned on to the fact that our blog is lashed in irony. We are really the anti wine wanker brigade, and consistent with our Australian sense of humor it only seemed right to call ourselves what we are not.

For those not exposed to Australian humor we do have a tendency to give everyone a nickname, and often that name has somewhere in its derivation a meaning that is the opposite to reality.  Why is this so … no idea; sometimes it’s best not to question such things. Here are some examples;

Tiny – often reserved for massive men.
Stretch – used for people unusually short.
Bluey – exclusively for those with red hair.
Happy – someone with a dour taciturn disposition.

So some rules to ensure you are not becoming a wine wanker might be appropriate.

What we at the wine wankers are trying to do, is break down the divide between those that use wine as an elitist instrument, and those less imbued in wine matters. The reality is that wine tasting is a very subjective art, and you can read two reviews of the same wine and they bear no relation to each other. There are many examples we could give but I am sure it would cause some embarrassment to the authors.

Wine is to be shared, a wine wanker type would hoard their wine. They tend to be name droppers, and mention that they have an ’82 Latour in their cellar and never share it with friends. Wine is to be drunk and enjoyed, and the sense of enjoyment is only enhanced when it is shared with others. Next time you buy a nice bottle of wine think about who you might like to enjoy it with.

To us the enjoyment of wine is enhanced significantly when paired with food. The synergy of wine and food together, either as a foil for each other, or complementing each other, is one of the true joys of life. The pleasure of a perfect food and wine match is bliss, and matched by few other things (maybe even that).

And drink good wine. It does not have to be expensive. Consumers pay a lot for the label that is stuck on the side of the bottle, when it is what is in the bottle that really matters. Len Evans was a legend in the Australian wine industry and gave one of my favorite quotes “People who say you can’t drink good stuff all the time are fools. You must drink good stuff all the time. Every bottle of inferior wine you drink is like smashing a superior bottle against a wall: the pleasure is lost forever. You can’t get that bottle back.”

So to reiterate, the rules of not being a wine wanker;

Rule 1 – Don’t use wine as an elitist weapon, it is grape juice and tastes nice.
Rule 2 – Share your wine, crack open that bottle you have been saving.
Rule 3 – Drink wine with food, it is one of life’s true pleasures.
Rule 4 – Drink good wine, to not do so is like smashing a good bottle.

Enjoy 🙂

Author: Neal (The Wine Wankers)

130 comments

  1. Especially like rule #3
    I think that for me who grew up in France I never saw any adult drinking without eating with family or friends. I obey the rule.
    And after all rule #2 is a good one, too.
    Cheers!

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  6. Dear wine wankers,
    I am having an argument with my spouse which confronts me with the assertion that the quality of the wine stopper changes the quality of refreshment for the wine not drank in the first serving. I tried to argue that since the purpose is to prevent the wine from breathing until you are ready to resurrect it the quality difference is only in the efficacy of strangulation. This argument has continued for some time now and I’m truly tired of hearing about it.

    Do you happen to have scientific evidence regarding the efficacy of standard M&S plastic wine stoppers and the more elegant yet more expensive decorative cork endeavors, and the effect on second serving glasses of wine from the same bottle post stopper usage?

    Your ardent fan

    MAL

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  10. what a lovely post! Your blog title is what caught my attention in the first place–love the irony and humor. Totally agree with your four points. End of day it’s about sharing good times with others. I’d even go a step further and toast your wine glass with a glass of good bourbon 😉

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  13. You are right, wine and food belongs together. To share the good wine with other is a joy.
    Here in Spain, where I live now, we buy local wine from the cooperative for a very fair price, paid per liter, it is very good wine without nice labels. I sometimes mind, that Spain keeps the great wine inside the country, because I never tasted so good Spanish wine, when I lived in Denmark.

    I once had a shop, where I sold wine and delicatesses. Back then I sold wine from many countries, also some more unknown wines. I like Australian wines very much. They are rich by sun and your way to produce the wine attract me.

    Taste is a tough one to discus, it is not possible, we will never think the same, when we taste the same wine, but maybe agree it is a great wine.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Irene

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  14. As to those worried about how to preserve wine to drink at another sitting- just drink it all in one hit hahaha. Having said that though, I have the prettiest plug, shaped like a stiletto and encrusted in pink bling. Not sure it really preserves but it looks good in the bottle lol

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  15. Love the rules, love the wine, love the irony. When the weather is as bloody awful as it is here in the UK at the moment (the whole of the south of England is one big puddle, and that is in no way being ironic…) then to share a good bottle of red with friends is the best way of muddling through! Cheers!

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  20. Absolutely!!
    However, I would add…
    Rule 5 – Give wine to the children when they are giving you hard time… the first glass would relax their murderous instincts. The second will put the little bastards to sleep as the angels they really are.
    Then you can follow rules 1,2,3,4…

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  22. I have to say that what I really enjoyed about going up to the Hunter Valley was the non-pretentious approach. At other places if I don’t like something I am an ignorant stupid bastard. Never felt that way in Australia (or may be that is saying something about the average Aussie). MM 🍀 (ps I have a sense of humour too)

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  25. Oh….I love to share a good bottle of wine! However, whenever I bust it open, I feel like I dont get the bigger portion…..What can I do about that? 🙂

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  32. In the early 1980’s my new husband and I were entertaining very special friends with a superbly cooked meal when he asked me to zip into our cellar and choose a wine. It was one of those moments so I returned with the cork removed from his dusty old bottle of 1969 Grange. Food outstanding, wine to die for, company best possible…. And he still dines out on the story of that dusty bottle of wine. Thanks for your rules, I’ll share them with him. It was our 32nd anniversary this week!

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  33. I keep trying to share the bottle of passion Pop left in my fridge on Christmas day only to have people run screaming from my house lol
    I don’t have the budget to be elitist and long ago realised that the best wine is the one you enjoy drinking the most. (I do have a soft spot for a good Barossa red though)

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  34. I knew that from first read of the blog. It’s shocking to me that some people take the name seriously rather than as the joke it obviously is.

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  35. Advice to live by! Which reminds me, I have to fill up the glass. My friends boy is skiing the downhill in Sochi, and in a few minutes they’ll broadcast it and, win or lose, he MADE it there so that deserves the best wine I can drink to raise a glass to Benny (Benjamin)Thomsen.

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  41. I am also Australian 🙂 lol

    Also, Also, the few occasions I partake in drinking the horrid stuff, I’m usually solid drunk after 1 1/2 – 2 glasses. *snorks*

    I can have a champagne, but only if it has Raspberry cordial in it.

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  43. What perfection this post is. I had an idea something like this was going on with that name. And now I know more about your philosophy, which means I can appreciated it even more. Thanks for sharing 😉

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  45. […] Part of the inspiration for this came from a couple we overheard in a winery on the weekend stating that they had been to 66 of the 73 wine regions. They had decided to do this following their wedding, as a wine journey through the length and breadth of the country, nice, expensive.  Now the husband in this tryst did display some concerning wine wanker tendencies, however we will attempt the journey ensuring no such ticks emerge (see this post on how NOT to become a wine wanker). […]

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  47. It is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures to share a fantastic bottle of wine with great friends and great conversation. I love y’all’s philosophy and cheeky tone. Cheers! – Bon Vivant DC (Alison)

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  48. Yesterday I had the good fortune and cause to open a 2004 Vilmart & Cie Champagne Grand Cellier d’Or 1er Cru, 1964 Moulin Touchais (with a huge slice of foie gras terrine I made) then a 2000 Cabernet Sauvignon made by friend Allan Green that went unbelieveable with a big fat bistecca fiorentina… Gluttony shared amongst family and friends!

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  49. Hello would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with?
    I’m planning to start my owwn blog soon but I’m having a tough time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs
    and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Sorry for being off-topic but I had tto ask!

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